Understanding Anxiety in Children

It might not be a headline-grabbing problem, but anxiety is a serious issue in the United States. It’s suggested 40 million people in the country suffer from an anxiety disorder, which is 19.1% of the population. It is incredibly worrying that 7% of our nation’s children experience anxiety every year, and most sufferers develop their first symptoms before age 21.

I too have suffered from anxiety — namely reactive anxiety depression. Like young people across the nation, my issues began in childhood.

What drives these young people to anxiety symptoms? How can young people seek to stave off the early onset of anxiety? Hopefully, I can deliver some insight.

Anxiety Disorder in the Family

Studies have shown there is a definite link between family situations and anxiety. Children of people with anxiety disorders are more likely to suffer. Parents of children with anxiety disorders are also expected to have amplified symptoms and be at greater risk. In my situation, the family unit was strong until my parents broke up when I was seven. Until then, I’d been an outgoing child, but I began to withdraw and live inside my own space. It’s hard to look back and pinpoint my motivations – at seven, you don’t understand. I felt sad because my father was no longer a part of the family, but how that manifested itself wasn’t obvious to me.

I became withdrawn because I wanted to regress. I felt that every change in my life, from new people coming to my gymnastics group to new furniture entering the house, was a step away from the time I felt happy. My father’s new home should have been an exciting space, but I hated it there. It had a lovely garden and a big game room, but I didn’t enjoy my visits as they reinforced the reality of their separation. As time passed, any change to routine would trigger the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety that I’d felt when that first change happened – even though I was now a teenager.

My Unique Experience

How did my anxiety manifest itself? My personality changed. I stopped playing in the yard with neighborhood kids and began to do lots of solo activities, such as drawing and writing. I resisted all change, and whenever things were changing, I would stop communicating. Later in my childhood years, it affected my relationships with other kids. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 21, as I was too scared to talk to people. I’d clam up when strangers spoke to me, and I’d avoid all situations that were unusual, even getting anxious if I saw a partial acquaintance walking towards me in the street. Anything that shone a light on me, made me have what I termed as an ‘episode’.

My experiences are unique to me, but the root causes of anxiety are not. Childhood anxiety can be caused by many things such as genetics, marital problems, and even overbearing parental control.

When it comes to children, one potential cause of anxiety is genetics. Parents who suffer can pass on their condition to their children through genes. The estimated heredity of anxiety disorders is around 30%, so while there is the potential for the parent to pass on their anxiety disorders, it is by no means certain.

It is a sad fact that 50% of marriages in the country end in divorce, just as it did with my parents. This means a lot of broken homes, arguments, and friction that children could witness. How a marriage breakup is handled can influence a child’s likelihood of developing anxiety. For example, verbal hostility, physical aggression, and physical anger can elicit negative behavioral reactions from children, leading to anxiety. However, this wasn’t the case with me – my parent’s breakup was amicable, well-managed, and almost mutual, but I still suffered in the years afterward.

Anxiety in children can also be triggered by overbearing parental control, which includes excessive regulation of a child’s life. This can include tight control of their routines, or not allowing them to problem-solve for themselves. It promotes a reliance on the parent, and a heavy reliance on anything can turn into anxiety.

The Good News

There is much that can be done to support a child with anxiety.

Routines are important. Participation in sports or groups can have positive effects – if this is something the child wants to participate in. Some solitary hobbies can help with anxiety as well. Yoga is also known to have many health benefits for adults and children. It can heal the body and mind, and alleviate depression, anxiety, and insomnia. In my later years, yoga helped me deal with the worst of my anxiety.

Music can also be powerful, especially at a young age. I have found music can help on so many levels. Cortisol increases stress levels which can lead to anxiety, and listening to music lowers those levels. It is an emotional release also, and a child who plays music, as well as listens, may find an outlet to express themselves that they feel they cannot do verbally. This was partly my solace, being creative.

The formative years have a huge impact on who we are and what we become, and there’s no doubt the family environment has a bearing on the potential for anxiety disorders. That said, there’s no guarantee that a child will develop a disorder even if the stressors are in place.

Me? I still suffer from anxiety, but I began understanding it in my teens. I went into therapy, supported by my parents, who came with me so we could talk over those early years. I manage my anxiety now with a combination of medication and understanding. When I feel an episode coming on, I have breathing techniques that help, and I can identify trigger situations and prepare myself for them.