How to Approach Conversations

We live in a post-COVID world plagued by anxiety at unprecedented levels. According to the World Health Organization anxiety and depression levels increased by 25% in the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic (World Health Organization, 2022). And those of us at the frontlines, we continue to see an ever-increasing rise in the need for mental health support today, four years later. This is largely due to increased access to technology and time spent on screens, as well as an ever-changing political climate and culture of uncertainty. Many Americans today report a rise in anxiety during election seasons, (USA Today, 2024) which we find ourselves in currently. 

This surge in anxiety is found across generations, in our children, grandparents, coworkers, and our partners. It’s found deep within ourselves and rampant in our communities. 

I know that I can feel my blood pressure rise, my breaths shorten, and my palms shake almost instantly when political ads come on TV or if there is a story in the news of yet another school shooting, only moments after I’ve dropped my kids off at school. It’s hard to navigate a world inundated by information, most of which is negative in nature. I’ve noticed that even online posts about home organization can leave me feeling uneasy and stressed in a moment’s notice. There always seems to be more we are supposed to do and less we can control. I think our kids feel that way too! Kids in the current generation are overscheduled and under rested. A recent study published in the February 2024 issue of the Economics and Education review states “..students are assigned so much homework and signed up for so many extracurricular activities that the ‘last hour’ was no longer helping to build their academic skills. Instead, the activities were actually harming their mental well-being, making students more anxious, depressed or angry” (Levin, 2023). 

Anxiety Can Present in Unique Ways

Anxiety can surface itself as irritability, anger, difficulty making decisions or completing everyday tasks. Sometimes you might not know that you’re anxious until you find you put the goldfish back in the fridge instead of the pantry, or find your car keys in the washing machine. Kids may present with increased behavioral challenges, negative attitudes, and reluctance to engage in activities at school or at home.This may also show up on play dates or in social circles, where it suddenly becomes more difficult for children to get along and play together. At all ages, life can often overcome us in a moment’s notice and we don’t always have the skills to navigate it efficiently.

I’ve found that in moments where I am less than my best, it’s helpful for those closest to me to extend grace and offer a listening ear. Talking though the million things inside my head can help me land back on solid ground, regulate my emotions, and start again. Even further, I’ve found that regular walks outside or time spent early in the morning with a cup of coffee and my journal help me process through my rapid-fire experiences and make space for my thoughts to move all the way through, to fully process and come to rest. These spaces of self-care also help me breathe and regulate my nervous system on a daily basis. Regularity in self-care is important.

Creating an Intentional, Supportive Space

Similarly, you may notice some of these symptoms in a loved one or coworker before they recognize them in themselves. Gracefully identifying what you are seeing and experiencing may be helpful in creating a supportive environment in which your loved ones can reflect on their own experiences and may open up further about anxiety they are feeling. Simple phrases such as, “ I noticed you are having difficulty making a decision here.” or “ You seem frustrated today” can open doors to a helpful conversation and may allow both parties to connect over a solution before anxiety gets worse. 

Even in the work environment, I have had coworkers identify challenges in performance and feeling “overwhelmed” often. Sometimes, this is accompanied by increased use of sick days and difficulty keeping up on tasks. Simply taking time to check in when these behaviors are noticed, can go a long way in helping coworkers identify their own experience and how they can ask for help. Within our busy schedules, and often within remote work environments, there are less spaces for personal connection. Creating these spaces intentionally can be impactful in deterring mental health issues within the workplace, our families, and communities alike. 

S-L-O-W-I-N-G the Pace

Taking walks daily, journaling freely, and creating space for deep breaths can help mitigate rising feelings of anxiety and stress before they interfere in daily functioning and allow space for regular check-ins with oneself to identify anxiety when it occurs. Slowing down our schedules to allow time for free-play and expression can help deter anxiety in families and with our children. Encouraging our loved ones to engage with us in healthy activities daily can create an improved sense of peace and connection and deter further anxiety and depression. 

In a world that is pressured, in a hurry, and often overwhelming, peace does, and can, exist. Working with the support of a trusted counselor can help us reflect on our feelings and experiences in ways that can free us and open up a new perspective that is free of fear. Engaging with ourselves and those around us in safe and graceful ways will also lead to paths of freedom. Don’t hesitate to build safety, it comes in the smallest of ways, in the smallest of forms and has a big impact.