Setting Goals for Mental Health
With the holidays fast approaching, you may already be overwhelmed thinking about everything that must be done. You may have parties to attend or host, decorations to put up, a whole house to clean, gifts to purchase, and toys to go through and donate before Christmas arrives. You may also have the added obstacle of dealing with a mental illness on top of all the holiday hubbub. If this is the case, the holidays can be especially difficult for many reasons.
Checking In With Yourself
You may suffer from OCD and overthink everything to the point of avoidance; you may suffer from anxiety or depression, making it difficult to be around people, or you may suffer from an eating disorder, making family gatherings challenging to participate in. No matter the mental illness, it is essential to take the time to plan how you will manage stress during the holidays. In doing so, you can shift your thinking to looking forward to the holidays instead of dreading them.
When developing a plan to manage your stress, it is important to identify the main causes of stress. Typical stressors during the holiday season can include time constraints, financial pressures, unrealistic expectations, social and family obligations, and loneliness. These stressors can be compounded when a person also suffers from a mental illness. Someone suffering from generalized anxiety disorder may feel excessively overwhelmed when tasked with having to battle the holiday crowds to purchase Christmas gifts. The same goes for someone with major depressive disorder; getting out of bed can be a difficult task for them, let alone leaving the house to go shopping. Someone who has anorexia may become stressed about being around their family for the holidays because they know the gathering is centered around food, and they may skip the event altogether.
Establishing Personal Boundaries
Setting realistic goals and boundaries is one of the most important tools to combat holiday anxiety and stress. Once you have established what causes your holiday stress, you can set goals and boundaries to ensure the stress remains minimal throughout the holidays. If you know you will be plagued by worry regarding getting everything done, create a checklist well ahead of time. Being proactive with your time management will ensure you get everything done on time. It is also essential to prioritize. Accomplish big tasks first and save the easier/smaller tasks for later. If your source of anxiety comes from financial concerns, set boundaries on what you are buying and for whom. If you know you can only afford a certain number of presents, that is the limit you set. If you know you cannot afford to host the holiday gathering, do not volunteer. Putting your mental health first before trying to please others is so important. By doing this, you can ensure that your boundaries are not overstepped.
Evaluating Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can cause a lot of stress and disappointment during the holiday season. To help with this, it is important to check your expectations. Are you expecting too much? Did you make it known what your expectations are? If you did not, how will anyone know what you expect? If you are hosting a holiday dinner, did you ask anyone to help? Making your expectations known can increase the likelihood they will be carried out and lessen the chance you will feel resentment if your expectations are not fulfilled. According to Amie Gordon, Ph.D., trying to set expectations only for yourself is important. This is something you have complete control over; expecting something from others or having expectations for an uncontrollable situation can leave you feeling disappointed when things don’t work out. She also explains the importance of focusing on the positives – choose to avoid conflict and give yourself and others grace; being kind to yourself and others can turn any misunderstanding around.
Sometimes, being around family during the holidays can be a great source of anxiety for several different reasons. Maybe someone is really good at making you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps another person has a knack for always asking you uncomfortable questions. Maybe another family member knows you struggle with your mental health and always finds ways to bring it up. Maybe you have social anxiety, and being around a crowd makes you feel uncomfortable. Or perhaps you struggle with depression, and you do not have the energy to be around your family. Whatever the reason, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and know they are valid. Remember to set boundaries, talk to trusted family members, and be open to finding new ways to celebrate that are comfortable for you.
Recognizing Self-Care
Another way to help manage stress and anxiety during the holidays is to engage in self-care activities. It is very important during times of high stress to schedule time for yourself. You could book a massage, take a yoga class, or practice meditation and deep breathing. It’s also important to get enough sleep and have a consistent sleeping schedule. Following a healthy diet and exercising regularly are also helpful steps to manage stress and anxiety.
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